I am supposed to get a colonoscopy today. It would be my fifth. It's too stupid and boring to get into, but the short story is I am supposed to get these every five years. But the only time anything has ever been found was during the first one, which was nearly fifteen years ago. So, going through these four times with two different gastroenterologists, I know that there are two different ways to "prep". You'll have some docs who will just make you drink two to four cups of an over the counter preparation you can buy at any walgreens and only do clear liquids for one day. You'll have others who will insist that the only good way to prep is to get a prescription for the prep and drink a GALLON of this stuff over the course of a few hours and do clear liquids for one day.
Well, this doc, whoever it is (I haven't actually seen her, the colonoscopy got ordered by a different doc, got scheduled and I got prep instructions, but would not actually meet her until today) is with Kaiser and has the most restrictive prep instructions I have ever seen. I had to go an entire day and a half with clear liquids only (I had to go the whole day before and my appointment was not until 1:30 for the actual procedure, typically they tell you that you can eat a light breakfast the day before, clear liquids the rest of the day and then your appointment is first thing the next morning), and drink the whole gallon of stuff.
I just couldn't do it. I did fine with the clear liquids, so I didn't eat all day yesterday, but I just could not drink the stuff. I only got through 3 cups.
So, this morning I know the prep was not good enough, so I am going to go ahead and cancel the procedure. I am going to tell them that if they can't let me do the prep the "easier" way, then I just can't do the colonoscopy. I'm a person who can't even drink Alka Seltzer or anything of that sort, it makes me throw up, so to ask me to drink a gallon of what amounts to salt water, is to ask me to spend a day starving followed by a period of three hours of vomiting while I try to choke the stuff down. I just won't do it. I have done it the easier way once before (my first gastroenterologist was of the "gallon" variety and she told me that there weren't any other options, but now I know better) and I can get through that... I can choke down two to four cups, I just can't do the gallon.
So, now having taken the day off, and asking Chris to take the day off, I am left just being home and feeling vaguely guilty. But I did tell Chris in plenty of time that I was going to cancel the appointment and he could go to work if he wanted.
The thing is, I know I should do it. I really do. But I am mad at myself for not realizing that I just was not going to be in a place where I could manage the torture of the prep and I should have cancelled the stupid thing last week. But I kept telling myself I could do it, that I needed to do it and that I just needed to tough it out.
I guess I am just not that tough!
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