10 Elliptical

And my last training session before the epic elliptical half! It was a really good ten miles, I must say. I think it may have been the bowl of cereal I ate last night. In fact, I am so convinced of it, I am going to repeat it again next week before the half... eat well the day before, including a bowl of cereal before bed. I'll let you know how it goes.

3 during TKD

Yesterday I was all packed up to do the treadmill. I went down to my work gym THREE times, and all three times, both treadmills were taken. So, I guess Wednesday just isn't the day to try to go down there. I was kind of pissed off and I thought about just taking my second rest day, but I really just wanted to go, so I decided to go outside while the boy was taking his tae kwon do class. In some ways, this worked out really well, I found a nice half mile loop and it is good to get my run in at this time, since the class is too short for me to have time to go to the gym (or go home) or do anything other than just sit there. Running = better than just sitting there.

But man, was it windy! I forgot my hat, so my hair was blowing around everywhere, it was cold and I couldn't hear my music over the wind. The good thing about a run like that is that you are so focused on getting it over with and getting indoors that you forget to be any kind of miserable about the running itself.

Anyway, so I might make it a regular Wednesday practice, since I am typically the one to take him to class on those nights. But today, I am packed for the treadmill again.

Also, this is just a really good post on a blog I am putting on my regular reads list.

The Skirt and the Loft

So, today I am wearing one of my favorite skirts. It is a plaid skirt that I purchased at The Loft a little over a year ago. I put it on this morning and realized it is just too big to continue wearing (I didn't realize before now because I actually don't wear skirts that often, only when I am certain I am having a rest day for exercise, since who wants to struggle in and out of tights during a lunch break while still sweaty from a work out). So, I found myself getting pretty sad about having to stop wearing this skirt, and I realized there is a very good reason for this.

This skirt has particular sentimental value for me.... see, I remember the shopping trip pretty clearly. My sister was here visiting (we were about to do the Denver Rock and Roll Half) and she wanted to go shopping at the outlet stores down the road from my house. So, we go down there and she was all "let's go into The Loft" and I was all "oh, I don't know.. they won't have anything in there that will fit me" and she looked at me kind of funny and was all "no, really, let's go in". So I did. So, while we are in there, she sees me admiring this plaid skirt and she's all "try it on" and I'm all "no, it won't fit, it only goes up to a fourteen" and she gets real firm and matter-of-fact like and goes "try. it. on." Now, I am the fourth of four total sisters, so when an older sister tells me to do something, it's pretty ingrained in me to just do it. So, I tried it on. And it fit. And I really liked it.

I wore it to work the next day to many compliments. So, I am a bit sad about having to stop wearing it, but I really must, because I could seriously be in a genuine I-see-London-I-see-France kind of situation here! And while that certainly may be desirable in the confines of one's own private home, it is certainly not while at work!

So, I took a picture and I am putting it up here, so we can all agree on how damn cute I look in this skirt, and then I can let it go and put it on the top shelf of my closet with my other fourteens*.

And yes, those are purple tights I am wearing with the skirt (you might not be able to tell from the picture), and they are what prompted me to wear this skirt today in the first place, since I saw them at Target and bought them knowing that all my tights are also too big, and I thought the purple ones would be really cool with this skirt. I might do this more often, post clothes and outfits, since this whole business of shopping in regular stores and buying regular clothes and actually developing a sense of "style" based on what I like to wear and not on what will fit on my body is a rather new thing for me, and posts like this help me sometimes.

*Don't even start with me on saving bigger clothes, I don't want to hear it. I haven't saved anything above a 16, and I only save things that I really feel like I might want to wear again should I get that big again, like jeans and work slacks (well, and this skirt). I have plenty of room in my closet and as I sometimes remind my husband, if I want to use my closet space to indulge in this particular neurosis, I will and I don't see how it is any worse than the way he uses his closet space, that being storing ten tons of hiking equipment.

Training Continues Apace!

For what I am now calling my "Epic Elliptical Half." I did nine miles today, took me 90 minutes.

Oops, I Did It Again

My friend Suzanne emailed me saying she was kicking around the idea of the Colfax Half Marathon. I could not resist, I simply could not.

I am all registered, it is on May 20th, which I think should give me plenty of time to train, even after my epic elliptical half. Good news is, it is local, cheaper than the rock and roll events, and the course is flat flat flat! Plus, for the first time this year they extended the time limit to four hours, so I figure if I totally fail at the training, I can just walk the thing.

So, whoo hoo! Here we go!

Six and a Quarter

On the elliptical. I was supposed to do nine, but my ipod battery died, so I took it as a sign that I needed to taper this week.

Will/Won't

Things I have done in the pursuit of fitness:

1. I have run in 25 degree cold.

2. I have trained for and completed three half marathons.

3. I have finished last in a 10K race.

4. I have fit exercise in to the busiest of days.

5. I have made goals and accomplished them.

Things I will not do in the pursuit of fitness:

1. I will not consider myself a bitch or a failure for doing what I know/feel to be in my best interests.

2. I will not struggle as hard as I have for as long as I have to recover from one illness only to replace it with another illness. That is NOT happening.

2.5 Tready

but today i ran. i am feeling better today, so whatever the hell was/is wrong with me, i'm hoping it is going away.

2 Walking

i walked two on the treadmill today. a pretty weak janathon effort, but i'm really not feeling that well.

I am officially sick of this...

Got that? It's OFFICIAL!!!

2.5 on the tready today, 30 minutes.

8 Elliptical and Self Love

So, I am reading this book called "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts", by Gabor Mate. In it, he discussed the concept of treating yourself with "gentle curiosity" when struggling with any addiction, which is something I have read about before and am a big believer in. When people ask me for advice on weight loss I always tell them that one of the biggest things is to stop hating on yourself. The only way I have gotten through the ups and downs of this journey has been to love myself through it. You will fall down, you are human and that is how humans do it. We fall down, we revert back to old habits, we are hard wired to comfort ourselves, sometimes in ways that do not serve us well in the long run. I simply had to learn to treat myself with the same compassion and gentleness that I (try very hard to) treat others with. Even though I'm not big on Jesus these days, I think he had the right idea with this kind of thing.

Now, this loving yourself business is made more difficult for those of us who struggle with obesity because while everyone falls down sometimes, we have the added burden of an entire society (and frequently people who call themselves friends, acquaintances, family and other general well wishers) of people ready and willing to kick the shit out of us while we are down there. They point fingers, they laugh, they express disgust, and this is everywhere we turn, which makes it incredibly difficult to get back up (*).

Anyways, my point (I swear I have one somewhere) is that I have worked really hard on this concept over the last few years, but this morning I found myself questioning something with regards to it.

I had pretty much decided last night that I was only going to do five miles on the elliptical today, because I am not feeling well and yesterday's four was harder than it should have been (I think I am getting a cold). But then last night I ate some cookies I made, and I found myself thinking this morning that I was going to go ahead and do the eight miles I had originally planned to do, because "I need to work off those cookies."

It wasn't a huge deal, I wasn't being mean to myself, but I did question myself about it. Is this a form of hating on myself? Is choosing a more punishing workout in order to "work off" some stupid cookies that I ate a form of self punishment?

I didn't really come to any conclusion, but it did give me some food for thought this morning, and I expect for some time going forward. But it also was a really good time to exercise my "gentle curiosity" skills. I didn't berate myself (neither for the cookies, nor for pushing myself in the gym more than I probably should have given my current health), but instead simply gently asked myself why I felt the need to do what I was doing, what were my motivations, and see if perhaps I can come up with some insights on that.

Anyways, all of this is to say I did eight miles on the elliptical. Janathon continues....

*Just a side note, sometimes I have found that I can call down anger (and/or it's close cousin, rage) to my aide when I am in the middle of feeling beaten down, and I think this can sometimes be very helpful as long as one realizes the limitations of anger. Anger is temporary and fades, but I find that the love you can find for yourself does not.... but sometimes the anger is just enough to get you to your feet, so I say it's a valid tool to use.

4 Elliptical

I think I am getting the cold that was plaguing everyone in Tucson. So, the four on the elliptical today was almost ridiculously hard. I am supposed to do eight tomorrow for my long, but I'm really not sure I will do it, I might put that off until next week when I am feeling better.

But Janathon must continue!

day 6, really... only day 6?

i'm pretty tired already! i did 2.5 on the treadmill at a good pace.

Day 5, 3 Mile Walk

Did a brisk three mile walk with the dog this morning. I hated to get up so early, but the thought of going down to that damn gym again just about killed me, so I got up and got it done. It was nice, I got to see the dawn breaking over the hills and it wasn't too cold out.

3 for day 4

Three treadmill miles. Slogged it out. I don't know, this is only day four and I'm pretty tired....

Power walk with the dog for tomorrow morning, I need some lower impact!

Bike

i got down to my work gym to find all the treadmills taken (stupid january!) so i took it as a sign that i should bike instead of run. i did 11 miles, took about 40 minutes. the paltry 320 calories the machine said i burned did not seem worth it.

i am pretty sure i have a sinus infection, so i am trying to take it easy.

7 Elliptical

The Elliptical Half training continues!

The gym was crowded, as it often is this time of year, but it was okay. Here is something weird - I got off the elliptical after my miles, and I did what I typically do, which is stagger to a treadmill and walk for a bit to cool down. So, I get off the treadmill after just a few minutes and turn around to the elliptical I was on so that I can wipe down the machine, and I see this lady who had been on the machines behind me on the elliptical I just got off..... it was odd, there was an entire row of elliptical machines there, and she appeared to have jumped onto my machine right after I got off it.... maybe she thought that if I could go that long on a machine it must be some kind of magic machine?

Janathon Janathon Janathon

First day of Janathon, and it started pretty darn slow for me! Got 1.95 miles done. I had to travel most of the day and then I had to watch football, so I was rather busy. Then when I finally went I had to deal with the burning of the lungs due to getting back up to our altitude (for anyone unfamiliar with how this feels, it is like smoking a pack of cigarettes the night before and then running the next day), so I cut it pretty short. Plus, it was freaking cold out.

My fitness goals for this year are to run a 5K in under 35 minutes. I think I can do that if I up my intervals. I think if I can get to where 5R/1W is the norm, that should be a pretty consistent 11 minute mile. I also want to run a 10K in under 70 minutes. I did decide for my own purposes that these distances do NOT have to be timed "professional" races. Since I have found that my Garmin is at least as accurate, if not more accurate, on all the courses I have run, I trust it. So, if my Garmin says I did a 10K, then I did a 10K, regardless if I was on a course with a bunch of other obnoxious people.

I'm also planning to do a half marathon distance on an elliptical on my birthday, February 5th, this year.

I did run all week in Arizona this week and put up some pretty impressive times... I sure do love running at lower altitude! All together I managed 15.45 total miles for the week, which ain't too shabby.