Not doing well.....

I was doing well, and then there was an incident at work on Tuesday that put me into an eating spiral (exhibiting such fantastic behaviors as eating cold cereal after dinner, stopping at the grocery store for chocolate on my way home from work..... so awesome I haven't done those things for years!) which led to the re-gaining of the poundage I had taken off after the stupid vacation! The incident itself is not important, and in fact was fucking stupid, but I am treating myself with much compassion. I talked to my friend at work (another former big girl who is now skinnier than me, so would understand) and vocalizing what happened made me feel much better. I am hoping the cycle of disfunction can end today and I can just move on feeling good that it only lasted four days.

My running this week has been awful, starting with the fact that I have only gone twice. I plan on going to the gym today and doing the elliptical and will go again tomorrow, so four total workouts this week.

I am traveling to Texas and Oklahoma for work next week and plan to spend some time this weekend focusing on what I would like for my eating and exercise to look like during this trip. I'm feeling very vulnerable about it, since part of my tendency towards disordered eating involves eating much more when I am alone and also taking vacations from healthy eating while traveling. But I've noticed that sometimes taking some time before a long run to focus on positive thoughts and what goals I have is really helpful, so I am going to try it for eating as well.

I called my doctor on Thursday and left a message because I got the x-ray done on Tuesday that I needed so we could see where the band is and if I could start getting it filled again, but nobody called me back, and since I am traveling most of next week, I figure I'll just have to call them again when I get home.

Anyway, I read this post this morning and cried a lot. That is all.